November is National Adoption Awareness Month, so we asked some of our favorite adoptive families to answer prompts from our Adoption Journal and share their incredible stories on our blog this week.
First up, meet The Bosen Family: Aubree, Matt, their adoptive son, Tyce, and their daughter, Taelynn. Grab a box of Kleenex and read the details of their amazing, heart-warming adoption story below, including why they chose to adopt, the story behind their adoptive son's name, and what they've learned from their adoption journey.
WHY DID YOU CHOOSE TO ADOPT?
AUBREE: Adoption was something my husband and I talked about from the time we were dating. When we envisioned our family, it was never a bunch of kids that looked like us. Fast forward to two years of marriage, and I became pregnant. I began having dreams of a little boy with black hair and a little girl with brown hair. They were always holding hands and playing. My mom and brother both had similar dreams. We were convinced I was going to have twins. BUT... when I went in for the 20 week ultrasound, just my daughter was hanging out in there. My husband and I were so confused.
At that same time we had a friend approach us and ask us if we would consider adoption. She was pregnant and considering the future of her unborn baby. Immediately, both my husband and I said yes. We didn't even stop to look at each other. We started preparing to adopt right away. I knew that my son was trying to find us. I could feel it. Our friend's baby never became ours... BUT, because of her, our adoption process and preparation began. Adoption, for us, became more of a reality.
HOW LONG HAD YOU BEEN TRYING TO ADOPT YOUR CHILD?
AUBREE: Our biological daughter was born in June. We had been getting our home study and legal documents all prepared throughout the end of the pregnancy and filed everything the week after she was born. Three months after her birth, we got the call that we were matched with a little boy that was being born that same instant. Funny enough, the day before I got the call, I had looked at my husband and told him that I had the strongest feeling we would have a son before Christmas. (It was the end of September.) My husband just laughed at me. The next day, I just gave him an "I told you so" smile.
WHERE WERE YOU AND HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE RECEIVING YOUR CHILD? WHAT WERE YOU FEELING WHEN YOU FOUND OUT?
AUBREE: It was a Sunday and we were sitting in church. I had this feeling to look at my phone and right as I looked down at it, a lawyer we had briefly talked to previously was calling me. I ran out into the hall and answered and he immediately told me that a baby was being born RIGHT THEN. The expectant mother had seen our profile and wanted us to be the parents of her SON. I knew immediately this was it. I didn't even know if he had black hair yet, but I knew it was him. The interesting part is, although I was terrified, I also just felt calm. I pulled my husband out of class with our three-month old daughter and told him. Both of us just smiled and knew. Given, we had all the feelings of any soon-to-be new parent. We were excited, terrified, anxious, and in love. It was every emotion rolled into one.
HOW DID YOU PREPARE FOR THE ARRIVAL OF YOUR CHILD?
AUBREE: We really had less than 24 hours to prepare to meet our son. Given, we had done all the legal preparation. We already had two cribs, carseats, rockers, and anything else you may need for two babies. We had bought two of everything on a whim. I just had the strongest feeling I needed to. The day we got the call, we raced home from church, bought plane tickets, and I packed a bag for my daughter and I. My husband would fly out in the next few days to meet us. Everything was a blur. We were running on pure adrenaline as we tried to prepare for a child that most people have months to prepare for.
My dad flew out with us to help me juggle two babies, and coincidently my aunt lived right were we were headed. So she picked us up from the airport and we drove 6 hours to the hospital to meet our son. We stopped at a Walmart to buy clothes for our new addition. Let's just say my aunt basically bought out the baby boy section as a gift to us. Preparation was put in fast forward as we tried to mentally, emotionally, and physically prepare for another baby. But somehow everything came together. I also learned, you really don't need all the baby items that all the blogs say you need. Diapers, a few outfits, blankets, and a carseat were our saving grace.
HOW DID YOU ANNOUNCE YOUR ADOPTION TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS?
AUBREE: We didn't have time to do a nice formal announcement. We hadn't even told most people that we were even taking part in the adoption process. So our formal announcement was just a photo posted to Facebook of me holding my sweet, precious boy in the hospital. I didn't give any details in the post, because that was not the time. But, I welcomed the newest Bosen and shared his name with the world (a.k.a. my Facebook friends list). We ended up being in the NICU for two weeks, and in that time I documented our journey. When we came home I sent out a birth announcement in the mail to our close family and friends.
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU FIRST MET YOUR CHILD? HOW DID YOU FEEL?
AUBREE: My son was born in a really small hospital, but because he was a preemie they had to lifeflight him 3 hours away to the children's hospital. His birth parents didn't even have a chance to meet him and interact with him because of how fast the doctors took him away. So I had the honor of driving to them and picking them up so we could all go to the hospital together to meet him. He was in the NICU and had feeding tubes in. He was so small and precious. His birth mother and I went in together and were both in awe of his perfection.
It is an odd feeling at this stage in the adoption process, because as an adoptive parent, I was filled with this incredible joy, yet so much grief and sadness. This perfect little boy has two mothers and two fathers that love him beyond words. I felt extremely guilty that my happiness was at the expense of someone's grief. I looked at this baby I didn't know, but at the same time I had seen him in my dreams. I gave the firsts to his birth mom: diaper change and being held. She deserved those and so much more. We sat in silence for most of this time; just staring at the pure perfection before us. That moment bonded all of us as a family. I had the strongest feeling in that moment that I didn't just gain my son, but I gained a whole extended family.
THE STORY OF YOUR CHILD'S NAME:
AUBREE: Our son's name is Tyce Mitchell Kabua Bosen. Names are important to me. They need to mean something. Tyce is actually the name I'd picked out for my first born son since before I can remember. It started out as Ty, and over the years I modified it to Tyce. It fits him perfectly. It is unique, yet is part of more well-known names—just the same way that my son is unique, but part of a big picture. Mitchell is my dad's middle name. We picked this name because my dad was the one that immediately jumped in and supported us in the growing of our family. He is the one that jumped on a plane with me within a few hours of finding out our son was being born, and came out to meet him with me. Kabua is after his birth family. They will always be a part of who he is. Because of them he is here. They are just as much if not more a part of his history as anyone else.
WHY YOU BELONG TO US...
AUBREE: We are so so lucky to have the opportunity to learn and grow from our son. I am his mom and my husband is his dad... BUT he is his own person. What I've learned through our experience is that our kids don't really belong to us. I'm their caretaker. I am responsible for showing them love and affection, teaching them, and helping them develop and grow. But, because of adoption I see how each child is the product of so many people and events that shape them. My son is not just a product of me and my husband, but also his incredible birth parents who love him more than words can describe.
Photos: Emma Matheson Photography